Filed under: 2009, FUNNY | Tags: cat, celebrity costume, Cheap and Chic, DIY costumes, Ghost, greek goddess, Halloween Costumes, invisible man, mummy, skeleton, Vampire, Werewolf
After reviewing last week’s post, I realised that I may have alienated those of you who do not have a couture-friendly budget with which to purchase your Halloween costumes. I have therefore come up with several solutions for you, based on the more traditional Halloween costume ideas, whilst still drawing inspiration from current fashion trends. These are all looks that you will be able to pull together from items and products that you may already have at home, or that can be purchased easily and cheaply – for under a fiver in most cases. Every look is based on a current trend from the catwalks so you can still walk out in style, knowing that your fashionable peers will instantly recognise the sartorial splendour of your costume.
I hope that the 99.999999recurring% of you that do not shop the catwalks or designer RTW collections to attend fancy dress parties will enjoy dressing up and celebrating the holiday this Saturday evening in a few of the following…!
INVISIBLE MAN
Trend: Extreme Knits
MUMMY
Trend: Body-con/Bandage dresses
WEREWOLF
Trend: Fur
You have two options for this.
EITHER- Jacob-in-The-Twilight-Saga style Werewolf:
- Work out constantly between now and Saturday night.
- Wear nasty sweats/ripped jeans and nothing else.
OR- Traditional Werewolf:
- Don’t shave between now and Saturday,
- Take a trip to your local hairdresser to relieve them of their spare hair off-cuttings.
- Use double sided sticky tape/honey to cover yourself in the hair, not forgetting the backs of your hands.
VAMPIRE
Trend: Gothic Vamp
- Wear normal clothes. (Vampires walk amongst us. They have to blend in at all times.)
- Don’t sleep between now and Saturday evening. (Vampires don’t sleep. They are the living dead.)
- Don’t eat or drink anything whilst at the party. (Vampires don’t eat normal food.)
- Act really moody at all times. There will be no effort required here – you’ll already be tired and hungry to start with. (Vampires are moody because they are living through an eternity of constant self-reflection and can’t even enjoy the occasional drink/donut to help ease the pain.)
- Squirt ketchup around your mouth and down the front of your clothes so it looks like you’ve just come from a productive feed/hunting trip.
CAT
Trend: Black is the new Black
- Get a black marker pen and draw whiskers above your eyebrows and around your mouth, out towards your cheekbones. Also draw in a little nose.
- Stuff one leg of a pair of black tights with dark socks, and fasten with a safety pin to the back lower hip area of an all black outfit.
- Grow your nails and toe nails between now and Saturday so you’ll have some nasty-looking claws to scratch your hosts’ furniture with.
- Drink only milk or Baileys-disguised-with-milk from a saucer throughout the evening.
GHOST
Trend: White (dominated the SS catwalks, as usual)
- Bed sheet over the head. King Size if possible.
- Cut holes out for eyes.
- Cover eyes and eye area with talcum powder, as well as any other exposed areas such as hands, (these will inevitably be exposed at certain times – Even ghosts like be polite and at least pretend to have a drink from their good host at a party.)
GREEK/ROMAN
Trend: One Shoulder/Drapery
- Bed sheet again, (see first point from ‘GHOST’ costume instructions).
- Drape sheet liberally around body, swinging the majority of the fabric over one shoulder.
- Wear any gold jewellery that you own – fake or real, no matter.
- Find some small branches or leaves in your local park/garden/street-side tree and place around head to make a laurel.
CELEBRITY
Trend: Celebrity (no)Style
This idea can be used as a base for the following costumes: Lady GaGa, Paris Hilton, Donatella Versace, Christina Aguilera, et cetera.
- Increase your normal fake tan application by 10 times. So, if you usually do 2 coats, do 20. If you’ve never used it, all the better. Celebrities do not know how to apply fake tan properly.
- Dress in as little clothing as possible, whilst still just covering modesty.
- Wear no underwear and get out of cars/cabs, and off of chairs/tube seats/bus seats with legs splayed wide apart.
- Have a friend take pictures of you continuously through out the night.
Filed under: 2009, FASHION WEEK, FUNNY | Tags: Comme des Garcons, Giles, Halloween, haute couture, House of Holland, John Galliano, LOUIS VUITTON, Marc Jacobs, Spring summer 2010, Tao, Topshop Unique, Zac Posen
Imagine how thrilled I was (as an American citizen and a HUGE Halloween fan,) that designers from all four fashion capitals decided to cater to those of us who take Halloween as seriously as any other festive holiday. Yey!
I always prepare myself for disappointment at the beginning of September – knowing that everyone will start obsessing over Christmas as soon as possible – therefore missing out on (arguably) THE most important night of the year. Even though we have three more months of Fall and two very important holidays yet to celebrate before tinsel, food-coma’s and ‘thoughtful’ gift-giving, the Christmas madness always creeps up and dominates all of the autumn months.
Well, not this year – not on my watch! Those of you who are all about vampires, werewolves, ghosts and candy, hold on to your heads, hats and horns – I’m about to give you a run down of the top looks from the SS10 collections; specifically chosen to inspire your All Hallow’s Eve costumes!
Apart from on the evening of the 31st October, these outfits would definitely end up on the worst-dressed lists of any self-respecting fashion/gossip magazine. But for one night only ladies and gents, these looks can only be considered as nothing but: Halloween Haute Couture!

“Down came the rain and washed the itsy-bitsy spider’s blue-rinse out….!” Man, that’s too bad. But, you can go and buy yourself a better wig to wear with this scary-hairy Giles ensemble.

Granny’s scratch card habit finally paid off when she won the jack-pot on the euro millions lottery draw, and went on a shopping spree in Paris.
John Galliano had a case of mild dimentia and provided us with this thrown-together-in-the-dark Scary pensioner’s ensemble.

Ooooooo – Blue Steel!
Derelicte-Chic makes a highly anticipated come-back at Tao -and the best part is, the whole outfit is recyclable!

Too dressy for the circus and too silly for a ball.
Comme des Garcons’ muse this season was the saddest clown ever to enter the ring.

Remember when air travel was glamorous? When the service was impeccable, the hostesses attractive, and your journey was almost always guaranteed to have a happy ending? Zac Posen clearly doesn’t – but his monstrous version of an airhostess for SS10 could be the perfect thing to trick-or-treat in this year!

At Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs gave us ‘Raggedy Ann on crack’. Normally this look would be the definition of a bad hair day from hell, but on Halloween you’d be the envy of every upper-east side blow-dry princess whilst wearing this get-up.


For the girls and boys who can’t be bothered to make an effort and think they are ‘too cool’ to dress-up. Thinking ‘Halloween’ and then ‘orange’ does not make for a kick-ass costume.
Especially not when you bought it from TopShop Unique. No candy for you guys.
Filed under: 2009, 2010, COLLECTION, FASHION WEEK, TOTAL LOOK | Tags: ALEXANDER McQUEEN, earth, fantasy, fiction, Paris Fashion Week, reptile, sea, sky, spring/summer 2010, underworld

This creature did not come from the sea, nor from the sky. She traveled towards you from the line of the horizon.

You saw her first as a pinpoint of light in the distance, then all too suddenly striding across your path in all of her hideous glory.

She stays firmly on her course, rotating the world beneath with each deliberate stomp of her reptilian hooves. Whilst she appears to be so bound to the earth, her whole body seems to float up and reach to the sky above; dressed as she is in billowing silk that catches every breeze and gust – She would float in midair but for the skin & scale weights growing out from her ankles.

Her clothing tells you a visual story of the world that she comes from. Every beautiful and terrible aspect of her culture is printed onto her garment – a moving, living, animated history. Her hair is braided and knotted around her head to protect the secrets within.

She does not see you, but merely senses your presence with indifference. She will forget you – you are but a flicker in her peripheral vision. A part of her passing.

She is already disappearing – back into the space between the depths of the sea and the infinite reach of the sky.











